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Poet. Baker. Seeker of sweet things.

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@thekitchenpoet

I love you more than poetry. but maybe not more t

I love you more than poetry.
but maybe not more than cake.

So this weekend my partner and I, with the help of some close friends and the kids, pulled off a surprise pop-up wedding. My son, and guest baker, Soren worked for months on perfecting the wedding cake he wanted to make for us. He tested flavor combinations and icing options, before setting on this lemon cake, with lemon curd, lemon butter cream frosting (which he decided is better if he used salted butter instead of unsalted butter because it makes the lemon brighter, pro-tip) and then practiced his mirror glaze technique multiple times to get just the right color combination. His cake stole the show and really wanted to share it on kitchen poet.

Perhaps this will reignite our Kitchen Poet flame. We certainly all miss it.

Cheers to all of you!

Breath unfolds one eye still closed I peek I spy I

Breath unfolds
one eye still closed
I peek
I spy
I stretch my still curled up body
against the warmth of my nest
my too tight nest
my too small nest
and feel the cool air kiss my cheek
I chance to emerge
for just one sweet moment
one sweet moment
to connect.
.
.

Well hello there Instagram. It’s been a moment and I just thought I would see what happens if I peek around the corner of my little hidden heart and say hi again. Last spring I took a week off from social media, and now it’s November. I guess it’s the same old story just about everyone can tell. Too much anxiety, too much sadness, too much stress, too much, too much. Just too much. This all was so much and so great and I had so many good connections and my kids ate so much cake and it was so much loveliness and then it was, well, you know.

That happens with life right? Something feels amazing, until it doesn’t and then we have to reassess and figure out what we are doing and why we are doing it and what it means and what we want it to be. Who we are. How we spend our time. How we define ourselves and our relationships. As life unfolds after a year or more of being mostly at home there are so many opportunities to poke our heads out and breathe in the air. So many chances to make eye contact with people we missed and step foot in places we missed and hold hands with family we missed. We are emerging. We are building and breathing and stretching and becoming. And as we enter a season of sweetness and connection and celebration and contemplation, may you poke your head out too, and become a more true you.

I missed you guys! Please say hi!

Meditation I chew on my own dreamy exhalation it

Meditation

I chew on my own dreamy exhalation
it melts me right from the inside
dissolving into a foggy memory
tasting of anticipation and regret
copper pennies meld metallic
salty and strawberry
slowly swirling sweetly
winding its way out
pulling me along
taking it’s own
precious
time

lingering for a moment
to savor the stillness of the pause

then
renew
awaken
emerge within
inhale and start again.

There are times in life that feel like an inhale. Growing, gathering, learning, doing, filling, emerging, awaking. Getting ready. Action. I love those times of life. They are full of hard things and good feelings and successes and sometimes failures, but it feels full and busy. And then there are times in life that feel like an exhale. Letting go, grieving, deflating, releasing, emptying, understanding, accepting. And then there is that tiny space in between. A gap between growth and death. A stillness. A truth.

Sometimes we can feel all these things when we sit quietly in meditation. We can feel the inhale and the exhale. We can feel the cycle repeat itself over and over again. But if we pay attention we can feel that same cycle in our bigger lives. For me, the past year was like one long inhale. My work as a psychologist, my role as a parent, my baking and writing and family and loving and surviving and trying to thrive. Inhale. And then in the past month, I have been feeling my self exhale. Letting go, feeling grief, letting the air swirl sweetly out and seeking stillness. Ready for the pause before the next inhalation comes. Where are you in the cycle? Are you inhaling and growing? or exhaling and letting go. What a lovely rhythm it can be, when we honor where we are at.

And speaking of breath, Pavlova and whipped cream with strawberries. There may be nothing more perfect for a summer dinner in the garden. Melt in your mouth sweetness.

Too sweet I push my way through a light so thick

Too sweet

I push my way through
a light so thick
I have to gulp it down
teeth sinking
into the pure blinding day
of my own over baked tale
tongue coated
throat full
and mouth sticky
with saccharine words
dripping off twisted smiles
that scream of whisky rye
dark corners
I know are there
They Are There
behind the syrupy sheen
of a storyteller’s score
oh the myths we sing.

Sometimes our desire to be happy, joyful, fulfilled and positive can create a shadow bigger than the feelings we are trying to cover up. There is a myth that being “happy” is the goal and that other feelings and experiences are something to “get over” “get through” or avoid. But grief in all it’s wondrous forms is a part of life. The rhythms of life and death, beginnings and endings, and constant waves of change are the underlying heartbeat of being human. Radical acceptance, and in fact embracing all these feelings is what can bring peace and ultimately joy. We feel grief because we love. We can not feel one without the other. Perhaps it’s time to take a deep breath, and allow all the feelings to just dance as they will on the strings of our hearts.

This caramel pecan cheese cake is the definition of overly sweet happiness. It’s honestly not my favorite, I feel like it’s trying to hard, too sweet, too happy, too rich. too….Sometimes we all need a reminder that we need the full melody of flavors. Not just more sweetness.

Guest Poet: Soren, age 10 I wish to be just like

Guest Poet: Soren, age 10

I wish to be just like the sun
to never quit when things feel done
each day it rises up once more
though clouds may come and rains may pour
it perseveres all through the night
and that is why it shines so bright.

Soren wrote this poem, an ode to the lifeskill he is working on in school and at home, PERSEVERANCE and asked me to bake to it. Be like the sun, no matter how many times the darkness comes, you just get up and shine. Over and over again.

What better dish to pair this poem with than a recipe I am currently working on…and havent quite gotten perfect yet. Posole Pie. Posole is a big deal in my family. My amazing cousin (who quite honestly is the absolute hands down picture of perseverance) @christina_chambers taught me her recipe for vegetarian posole, which was adapted from my aunt’s authentic meat filled version, which I then adapted to put in a pie (because a baker’s gatta bake). I haven’t yet found the perfect formula for turning this Mexican soup into a pie, but Im close….and I believe that if I persevere I can meld the deep, dark, rich, chile flavors into a buttery flaky sunlit pie crust.

So today, let us all “be like the sun”. Let darkness be your cue to rise. Shine on sweet friends.

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